Lots of wisdom in the comments from everyone, so much so that it feels bigger than my mind at the moment. I took time in the quiet of my morning living room today to slowly follow the lessons of a Pilates workout, my first time, breathing in and out, concentrating only on my respiration and my muscles and enlongating my occupation of space with my bones. After an hour and a half it felt as if toxins were being expelled with my exhales and a ball of fire, like a little sun, rising in my belly. The heat this generated burned throughout the evening, right through my classes, a long-missed cheer that had me bursting out in my characteristic laughter that always echoes through the school and makes my boss put her face in her hands, shaking her head.
So a good day, the heavy demon expelled, like fog breaking up in the sun.
I need a little more time to reflect on everything everyone wrote before I attempt a reply. If I try to write now it will just spill out in a leaky mess, with no coherence. But the cogs are working. And the ears are listening to the pulse, tracking the motion of the spirit, which always moves with the delicacy and deliberation of a snail.